Monday, June 25, 2012

Me Rikey Rong Time.

The homie Ryan from Virtue Ciders brought back a gem straight from England. A cider produced by one of the most renowned cider houses around. Super farmy, no carbonation and barely sweet. I felt like I was drinking apple milk straight from an apple teet. Ill never get to have it again unless I go to England which I don't plan on doing until my teeth get fucked up.

Lucky for us, there were other beers to try out. It was an antacid kind of night. A lot of sours, chicken thighs, and crying. It got weird.

When's the last time beer pong happened upon you? If your answer is last week, then you sir or madame are a total douche. This was actually a really cool party combining cheap and rare beers, summer weather, and a lot of summer dresses. It was a good time but a free comedy show awaited us.

On the complete opposite side of town, Tony Trimm's boy Hannibal Burress was doing a set at the Laugh Factory. If you ever think you work a lot, this man is a fucking machine. Gigs upon gigs upon gigs.

Dude killed it as usual. Although the acts before him made me want to gouge my ears. I now understand the 2 drink minimum because if I was stark sober, I may have killed someone very hilariously listening to some of the comedians.

I tried to make it to the end to see Eric Andre's set, but being next to scenesters and groupies was all I could take. I also found out that the show didn't end till 330am. I'm aight on that.

Plus, I had to paint in the suburbs in the morning. I can't remember the last time I saw haaaaaaaayyyyyy!!!!

Cove painting a waffle cookie child.

It's like looking in a mirror.CZR would soon make out with this board soon afterwards. Talk about awkward.

Cyfn forgot how to spell his name so he just stuck with a C for cuntface.

While the three other guys got to paint on solid wood walls, I painted on saran wrap.

I'd say it came out okay considering what I use saran wrap for...condoms.

Magnum condom.

I found some wood and painted an orgasming slug.

This is CZR's happy face. He's seriously dreaming about something going down son!

Back at it the next day, I decided to paint CZR's nightmare.

Speaking of live art, this lady kinda made us look like little bitches.

Did I mention that there were tanks all up in this park? I love old army equipment, I just don't like seeing white kids all over it demoralizing its awesomeness. It aint a jungle gym jimmy, stop stroking the cannon.

Feeling inspired from the old lady painting bitchin realistic flowers, I decided to hit up the Art Institute to check out the Lichenstein exhibit. This was one of my favorites.

Me rikey.

So awkward walking around with a boner.

This was the last part of the exhibit. It's freaking amazing seeing these paintings up close and realizing that all of the dots were done by hand. I also realized how many people bite the shit out of Lichenstein. His layout and use of contrasting bold lines is just awe inspiring. This exhibit is definitely worth checking out. All kinds of variety that you'd never expect from his body of comic inspired work. I was definitely humbled by all of its intricacies and work ethic.

This was pretty cool too in the modern wing. I can't really get into the modern reminds me of a warehouse of leftover work just hanging with no rhyme or reason. The layout feels like a college kids dorm room with random art work all over. There's awesome work, but there is some work I just want to kick the shit out of.

What goes with art? a drink at an uber ornate lobby of a hotel. The Palmer house downtown makes you feel like youre an extra in The Shining.

This banquet hall once had Lil Jon DJ for a NYE party. Definitely loses its charm hearing echoes of "AWHAT??" "YEAAAAAAHHHHHH" and the all time favorite "OKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK."

Work. Did you know I make food for people? Smoked golden beets, goat cheese mousse, truffle oil, pea tendrils, roasted kumquats and lemon thyme vinaigrette. The next course was a hot dog.

Fat lazy pussy. My favorite kind. They are delicious.

I have no idea why my phone gets this weird glaze look some times but after some prep work, I went to check out the newly opened Atlas Brewpub in Lincoln Park.

And boom goes the dynamite. How do you open to the public without having the only thing that makes you guys interesting?

Yeah, its a shitty picture but imagine that you are in any bar in Lincoln Park and its pretty much the same thing.

I don't care to fix this picture. I've seen this kind of wall at a lot of places. There really isn't any character about this "brewery/pub." It looks like every other bar that's trying to be a club. I'd expect shit cocktails over craft beer here. Not that it should look like a shit hole but its not very beer centric to me. Revolution and Haymarket did it right.

I got to see the vats of beer that wasn't available to taste yet. Pass me a Gumball head already.

Happy pig roast day. This little fucker had every single part eaten. I gnawed on the ears, cut up the cheeks and fished out the brain. My parents always knew to go for the head knowing the kids would be scared of the head but I now know better. There will be a fight to eat the face son.

It was a cool party with all the hottest male home brewing models the city has to offer.

We weren't allowed upstairs.

So we were all banished to the basement where the bands were. The fans were going nuts.

We always knew Bucky liked being surrounded by cocks, but this is just ridiculous.

At least there was decent beer left.

The day started a little late because of the previous nights activities which involved a lot of beer and waking up on my futon with only my pants missing...again. "Happy pride day, now go back to the fucking piss line you queen."

Halsted was a sea of empty Miller Lite cans and used penises.

Benny the bull made an appearance. It looks like the carpet does match the drapes.

I have no idea what to say about this except this bitch knew how to walk in those stilettos a little too well. This also made me realize that girls in this city look stupid walking in heels. This was a sad sad day for women all around Chicago who thinks they carry themselves well in heels. This Eastern European immigrant gay can walk in heels better than you.

Speaking of immigrants, Sergio tried his best to look white with this wig that ended up being made up of shaved pubes. He was in heaven.

Tired of hearing shitty club music, hot pants, 13 year old confused lesbians, bears, cocks, leather, and suburban gays, Dio and I went to check out Nellcote. Jared Van Camp's newer spot. Layout is similar and kind of over the top in my opinion. However, I didn't feel homeless here even though I looked homeless still wearing my "parade" outfit of a black tee shirt and jeans.

This restaurant totes a hefty emphasis on grinding their own flour and making everything flour related from scratch. The breads were pretty fucking good...I preferred some rolls to others but the aerated butter made everything taste good. The pasta dish was cooked perfectly but I would liked to have more salt.

The neopolitan pizzas on the other hand were fucking phenomenal. This pizza had an awesome crust, true to the style, thin ass crust with well seasoned toppings. The burrata was a bit overwhelming but the flavors were really delicate and tasty.

The margherita was really really fucking good. The sauce was perfect and you can tell the sauce was made from REAL TOMATOES and made from scratch. Sweet, salty, and great consistency. I would pleasure a hairy old Italian to get jars of this sauce and again, the crust was amazing.

Yeah, I took a while to get this entry. My bad. I had a lot of fucking work. Look out for more guest bloggers!
If you think you'd be able to do a decent entry (it can't get any worse than my entries, trust me), then let me know! I would love to see other perspectives and lives around the city.


Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Running On Fumes.

I forgot to post this piece a while back so here I am backtracking like an asshole showoff. I copied every single graffiti writer I respect and like to see and kind of slammed it altogether in my own way. It's a fuck cluster, I know.

Dj'ed with the homie Tony Trimm for his bday at the Charleston. I like the booth behind the bar facing the wall so you can't see anyone making fun of your music while you play. The Charleston may be one of my favorite bars in the city. Always chill, good looking people, no bullshit and all grown people demeanor - so I basically didn't belong.

I love eating brunch, but hate cooking it. Cooked a 5 course beer pairing brunch with Two Bros. brewing and desperately needed a drink soon after at 2pm. After several beers at Goose Clybourn, we headed to The Green Lady up North. A bar that just seemed to come out of the blue. Me rikey.

On top of the massive tap list, there was a "special" menu that consisted of super local brews in Illinois. That's pretty fucking awesome. Homebrewing has come such a long way and this is just more proof of its validity amongst the "pros." I shed a little beer tear and immediately went to go pee.

I tried a few beers and honestly it was very hit or miss with the home brews. Some were really good and some were really underwhelming aka crap. It's alcohol so who fucking cares right?

Plus a bottle of this would soon blanket the woes of the home brews. This classic Gueze just reiterated how awesome Cantillon is with brewing some special shit.Breweries like this make me think Belgium is constantly drunk.

Tony, being the middle aged black woman that he is needed like four parties to celebrate his birthday. Half Shell would soothe his cravings for crabs. After my trip to Boston, it was hard for me to eat anything from the sea, so I opted for fries and half a burger. Yeah yeah yeah, I'm being a fucking snob, but it'd be like eating a Chicago style deep dish in Florida.

We were on our way to see Merk 1 and Rude spin at Cole's when I remembered that I painted a tattoo shop two years ago but never went back to see what they did to my piece. They should have just stuck a giant sticker on the wall. I guess the fake bricks is meant to make you feel "street" or "hood"?

Woke up the next morning and had the saddest BBQ with Merk 1. We both realized that we have no friends. It was also hot as balls. I was tea bagging anything cold. A lot of kids cried about their melted ice cream.

There was also an awesome patio jam happening that Shred One was spinning at over at Three Aces. Tim Zawada thinking about the absorbancy of this diaper. "It's creepin son"!

Painted a piece in Hyde Park and gave myself only two colors to work with...partly cause I was lazy and part because I wanted to paint pomegranate everywhere? I immediately thought dingle berries and yes, I did have to dookie.

I don't know what came over me, but I painted another piece the same day. Slightly more than two colors, Rila and I had some fun freestyling our pieces until the BMW driving cunt bag purposely ran over two of my cans. If you ever paint this wall, just watch out for her and ignore her. I mean, you live in a condo, own a beemer, look healthy...why would you care about some bummy looking artists painting in an alley? What a fucking loser. I would never hit a woman but this bitch needs a bat to the face and her stupid BMW would soon follow.

Rila said he has a crush on her.He painted this piece for her. He said he always thinks about her period.

I usually get pretty exhausted after painting one piece these days so you can imagine how I felt after painting two so instead of taking a nap, why not immediately go to an overcrowded street fest?

I ended up showing these two around who came in out of the blue. Chelsea gave the thumbs up after downing a corn dog. She asked for the black one to make her parents mad.

I thought I came across the best dressed homeless but soon realized that Shannon and Chad stole this from a homeless person and decided to get they grub on.

"Let me get some uv dat nacho and shit B." This enormous dog was staring at the two stuffing their faces with such drunken fervor, it kind of made the dog feel shameful.

 Danny wanted to check out the homies at Simones in Pilsen. It was too dark to take a picture of Intel's red pants. It was once white. He finally became a woman. 

On the way back, we saw a dude asleep on the wheel in an intersection. White people get to do this kind of stuff and not get arrested. Amazing.

Tried the brunch over at Longman and Eagle. My market scramble was meh, but the chicken and waffle looked pretty good and fucking enormous. This made my market scramble look like a little bitch. The biscuits and gravy were pretty good as well. I would do dinner over brunch here any day though.

Finished another piece for my upcoming solo show at Aisle 1 Gallery in St. Louis.

I got to do a lot of painting this time around which I was happy about, I'm still way behind schedule with painting because that stupid work thing keeps getting in the way. At any rate, If any of y'all are in St. Louis July 13th, come by and say hello.