Wednesday, April 25, 2012

God Help Us All

We had our employee party at Joe's on Weed St. to accommodate all the soon to be drunks under one  "whole" roof.

The hosts for the night were people I rarely see at work.

These were $8 and made the night tolerable.

Raffle time. I held out to win the Ipad and or the 44 inch flat screen. I am also about 6 buckets in of Coors which basically equals a 6 pack of any other good beer.

I got called up to pick a prize and this this is what I fucking got.

Two people later, this was picked out. DAMN YOU ROBBIE!!!!!

People started to shuffle out with the quicks once all the prizes were announced and realized that most of us had work the next day.

This also happened. Work this day was absolutely dreadful and full of people I wanted to punch in the face.

I went over to check out the homie Kevin Coval do his one man show and get some culture kicked into my skull.

It was a one man show about being white in Hip Hop and lost identity and white white white white white white and a little bit of Jew. The set was eerily accurate to a hostage den.

Feeling the white power in me, I went to check out Company Flow at the Metro right afterwards.

Holy fuck buckets. They were pretty fucking amazing. Played all the hits and didn't miss a beat. El-P just murdered this tonight. Big Juss looked like Whoopi Goldberg.

Noah and Sam doing their impression of Asian game show contestants.

I worked an engagement party despite having made all the food from scratch, the hit of the night were pre packaged and frozen. Spring rolls and pot stickers have gotten the better of me again! Best part about this was that the Asian made all of the Mediterranean themed food for the buffet.

The ensuing hangover had to be cured with a gay brunch.

Cool interior and all but the fucking club music banging out at like 1pm was a bit much. Like ungodly loud and post 2000 Cherish music.

There were 4 menus for drinks. One half of a menu was dedicated to food. I don't want to generalize but damn, do gays really drink this much?

The fruit polenta was interesting. It wasn't too sweet and kind or reminded me of a liquified pop tart in a good way?

Had two pizzas which were pretty good. I think I have to check this place out for dinner. I feel like brunch was just a dance party with party food.

Had a meeting over in Bridgeport. Always cool to see friends painting together and collaborating and shit.

Its mandatory to stop for a beer here when in Bridgeport especially when youre hiding from racists.

I wonder what they sell here.

You can definitely find beer here that'll make you look cool at a BBQ because youre an individual and PBR and Old Style are for hipsters!

The back bar is warm and dark. You can most certainly spend a whole week here and not notice it. Their tap list is pretty ridiculous.

Even the pisser has a nice beer collection.

Painted a piece for the homie Tim Zawada and laughed about a kid doing graffiti in his back yard and almost crying in fear of the cops...wait, nevermind that was me.

Checked out Hannibal Burress at the Owl for a screening of his mini documentary soon to be out through Comedy Central. Dude is pretty fucking funny. A few of us left to grub it out all gourmet and shit at Longman and Eagle. We ate some pig anus with apples or something.

Headed back to the Owl where I played defense for Hannibal for hours until we ended up here. This kind of explains the whole debacle.

Went bowling at Diversey the next day and scored pretty well for a Mexican.

Went to check out Big Dick's homebrewing headquarter aftewards and saw this fridge of beauty.

Enter another room and come across this with a hidden closet for more beer storage. I can't wait to see them try and drink all of this when the world ends soon. Should make for a pretty painless ending to your life.

They do brew a solid fucking beer though.

Here's the logo. That is a crazy ball size to penis ratio. Whoever's junk this is modeled after should get this checked out.

Had the pleasure of doing a 10 course beer dinner with Half Acre. Here are my disgusting serial killer looking notes.

These are just a few of the photos taken by the homie Alfonso. He said everything tasted like taco though. I dont know what that means.

Helped the homie Drew with a benefit for Shawnimals' dog that got attacked along with some other great organizations at Quenchers. This ice shaving machine is pretty fucking awesome. The boozy cones can definitely make for some time traveling.

Sean Doe looking at porn during his gig as usual.

Congrats to Janixa and Omar getting married on a Tuesday. This is the first Tuesday wedding anything I've ever been to. Congrats to making Wednesday absolutely miserable.

Stopped in drunkenly to get a foot long Subway and came across this group of winners playing Magic the gathering at 2am in a Subway. I'm assuming all of their parents must be asleep at the house. I can't believe an Asian ended up being cooler than 3 black dudes. This is a fucking first for me.

Monday, April 9, 2012

It's Beer O' Clock Somewhere.

Upon my return from L.A., I was a bit anxious and wishing my vacation lasted a touch longer. I figured an impromptu trip to visit Brutally Honest Brewing at Acre would calm the nerves.

Instead, we went down to the dungeon where I got to sort of docudrink the process of replacing almost 20 lines of 3 Floyd's beer. Seeing all of these blood vessels going into kegs isn't too calming.

Canadian beer to the rescue. Does everything Canadian have to be so weird? At least the effect of alcohol is the same everywhere in the world.

Seeing this calms the nerves as well. It also makes me want to break open every one of these and shower myself with them ala flashdance on a futon.

In true whiteboy fashion, Chris wears limited edition Dave Matthews open toed Birkenstocks when changing kegs in the keg fridge. That one big toe looks retarded.

Acre has a lot of gems in their keg storage room including this keg of deliciousness waiting to be turned into urine.

I won't lie, my penis sort of moved a little after seeing this completed. I also couldn't feel my banana skin toned face.

Wasn't even close. I think we matched two numbers. Oh well, at least internet porn is still free.

Food highlight for this post is the homie Skillet's home made bacon. Smoked perfectly, just sweet enough and with enough bite that'll make you want to wear bacon boxer briefs. This is how God would eat his bacon.

Re did the big board at Goose Clybourn and made the goose a depressed American. The carrots look good at least.

Fit a wall in as well. Tried some new trendy graffiti things for fun and ended up with a spaghetti style mess.

Just trying to fit in yo.

Brew Springsteen day. I'm running on empty at this point.

Despite how many dudes that are in this shot, there were equal if not more girls with plaid shirts and beards.

I'm really glad I limited the capacity on this one considering how many people there were for the last one. Believe it or not, this was pretty comfortable.

Bathroom line on the other hand...I don't think you can ever escape bathroom lines when beer is involved. I was impressed by how well the group of strangers orderly zig zagged themselves. 'To check out the full set of flicks click here.

This night ended drunkenly by watching a lot of spaghetti fly in the air. It was disturbingly erotic at the same time nauseating.

Gotta give props to my staff for making Brew Springsteen such a success, no matter how drunk they got, they handled all the dirty stuff and did they damn thang. I want to thank all the brewers and people that came out and supported another great beer event. Gotta give props to Tommy Gunz for the awesome pics. Sleep will come soon.