Monday, December 26, 2011

Deck The Halls...Fa-Ra-Ra-Ra-Ra-Ra-Ra-Ra

Speaking of Asians, the third installment of the Brew Ha Hey Ho will be happening on 1/21. You have to RSVP for the location. It's real easy.

Finally got to hang out with the Doodle Day crew over at New Wave Cafe in Logan Square. I whipped out this little ditty and got free chocolate cr0issants son! This happens every week and everyone is invited to participate. You better step your joke game up because some of these guys are ruthless, but in a nice way?

Cool people come back home and realize why they left in the first place. Linda has always been supportive of anything creative and just so freaking nice and laid back. It's a shame when we lose people like this but have so many Michigan douchebags stay. I also believe that her and her friends were the first people to wear cool glasses before cool glasses were cool. I wanted to take more photos of the bar, but the lesbians in the back were already giving my brother and I the stink eye cause they wanted to defile Linda. They were in desperate need of a Sybian.

Djed at Swig with Pickel. I wish this was the dj booth instead of the pisser. This bathroom also makes me think I should break out the heroine or crack pipe.

Went by Shoe's Pub over in Lincoln Park Xmas eve to meet up with the Xmarx gang. Here they are in all their glorious holiday drinking mode.

What kind of fucking anchor hooks did they use to hang this shit? Thats some next level shit. Fuck your hand screened print poster of a dancing hipster robot, hang a motorbike instead pussy.

This is definitely a hidden gem in an otherwise yuppy douchehole of a neighborhood. Chicago oriented and a no frills/bullshit environment.

It may be the Japanese rocker bartender that make the bar what it is. Karen here swore like a pirate, called us stupid, and talked about Asian traditions all in one conversation. You can't pay for service like this. She also ordered pizza for us. So a Chinese, Japanese, and Korean walk into a bar...

Gave the nephew his Christmas present and immediately was enthralled with the magic of free shit. This is why being a baby is the shit. This is the only time in your life where being pantless, laying on a kitchen floor playing with a toy is normal. Can you imagine catching an adult doing this? Just so wrong.

Christmas Eve felt like any other day to me so I started doing some work to fill the void that is merriment and other holiday bullshit. Am I the only person that felt like Christmas was just kinda blah this year?

Stopped by the homie Joe Tallarico's house for his 30th birthday where I would make pot stickers for caucasians. Joe is way more AZN/Korean that I am made more evident by this toy collection. I get the suspicion that if there was world destruction imminent, Joe would only save these toys and his records over food and clothing. This is what Asian porn looks like. Awkward and full of costumes and of course BUKKAAKKKKEEEE!!!!!

The homie Jesse planned an age old Jewish tradition of a Chinese Christmas dinner. This dude was making noodles from scratch, I just wish those annoying bubble tea pictures framed this ancient tradition in action.

Chinatown was poppin son! It was like Jerusalem Skokie up in this bitch. Goldbergs, Silversteins, and Cohens all over the place and some Yang's, Lee's, and Lo's mixed in.

Arrived a little early so I walked around and came across what I dubbed as a "ching chong" candy shop.

The sweaty fat kid in me came out in full force amidst all of this awesome gummy candy. Overwhelmed with joy, I just went for it and started shoving candy in a bag drooling and calming down my boner at the same time.

This was along the perimeter of the candy store. I don't give a fuck what y'all say, this shit right here is the best beer snack hands down. This makes pretzels and chips look like little bitches.

We all met up at Lao Beijing, a Tony Hu joint that is basically an identical twin to what made him famous Lao Sze Chuan. I think he has like sixteen restaurants all starting with the word "Lao," meaning $$$.

So there are fifteen of us in a small room on the second floor where all of the beer and wine is stored. We were greeted warmly with classic styrofoam plates.

It was quite the motley crew of awesome company, some involved with the food industry and some just celebrating chinukkah.

To avoid confusion and chaos, Tarin had the bright idea of writing the order on the table. Only to find out that we can only order by numbers. This is like just one of ten things that was awesomely wrong with dinner.

The food was outstanding though. Everything we had was tasty, surprisingly light and fucking riceless. The rice didn't come until the meal was 2/3 of the way over. We didn't get water until the end of the meal, we were using towels from the bathroom for napkins, passed around a bag for throwing away the plates, got drink orders wrong, two female guests getting propositioned by a 15 year old Chinese boy, but I wouldn't have wanted this dinner to go any other way. It had all the elements of any Christmas dinner complete with hilarious family members and delicious food.

Wanting that awkward warm fuzzy Christmas feeling to last forever, Pickel and I went on a little all city crawl from Chinatown to Longman and Eagle, to Five Star, and ending our night at Nick's Uptown.

This place is fucking huge! Felt like I was in a rec center in a park. Just a giant home for yuppies and assholes to do what yuppies and assholes do. However $2 any beers is always going to be a winner in my book.

One bad thing about drinking = making terrible decisions like buying cold pizza from a random stranger and then placing said pizza on top of a germ filled bar.

Christmas was awesome this year. It's always a good time to see people come back into town all jolly and shit. Looking forward to 2012 already and ready to get everything on.

Thanks for reading.

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