Monday, August 29, 2011

So Many Colors, So Little Time.

Great Lakes beer dinner at work this past week had me realizing how terrible my handwriting is. My notes looked like something a psychotic murderer and a 2nd grader put together.

It was a hell of a day prepping, cooking, and serving all the food for the 5 course beer dinner, so I treated myself to the richest and heaviest thing I could possibly eat at 1030pm. I present the duck confit poutine. This artery clogging awesome sodium filled dish coated my mouth like a European hooker. It was just the thing I needed before calling it a night.

Finished a little ditty for the homie Julio that ended up not being what he wanted...boooo. It was my fault mostly but there's always time to paint another 7x2' piece right? Right?

Stopped in at the Haymarket Brewpub for a quickie while I waited for Abbey and his girlfriend to head out to Lisle.

I love this place because of the 4 ounce pours that they offer so you can try almost every single beer they brew without getting smashed and blowing out your taste buds. The winner out of this trio was the raspberry wheat. Real subtle, not sweet, and all kinds of floral...I mean, that shit was good son!

Lisle, Illniois represent beyotches!!! The homie Diane extended an invite out to her amazing home for her annual Big Daddy Fest where a shit load of drinking and eating would ensue.

Diane has really good taste and design sensibilities. The house was filled with things you want to touch but you know you shouldn't. I didnt know whether to sit on these or put up a velvet rope around this whole table.

I didn't sit on these because I knew once I sat on them, I would never get up ever again. Seriously, I would just lay, shit, and sleep and not move and watch TV until I slowly died into a yellow goop.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I painted her car a few years ago. You think this sticks out a little in traffic? Answer is yes.

Here's Billy, Timmy, or Jimmy (I forget his name) pointing to the one thing on the car that is remotely comprehensible. The best part about this is one of the guests asked my Nigerian friend Abbey (pronounced Ah-Bay) if he painted this car in Jamaica...can't make this up.

After uncomfortably chuckling and kind of staring in shock, we decided to walk the amazing garden properly equipped with not but one but three hammocks we've seen walking around the massive garden.

We also found a decked out tree house in the neighbor's yard complete with two floors and a live in black dude that creeps the white kids out. Abbey later told me that this is what Nigerian mansions looked like.

Worked up quite an appetite walking and pointing at things and ooohhhing and ahhhhing everything in sight. The menu consisted of a very filling and satisfying fish boil and copious amounts of Bud Light, wine and Johnnie Walker Red.

Outdoor fireplace? What is this, the future???

Outdoor candle chandelier. Smokey the Bear would have shit out an extinguisher if he saw this. It made the garden look really cool.

This sexy bed of perfectly gray coals were heating up an 80 lb. pig to crispy fatty perfection in a "China Box." Complete with triangular, conical engrish letters.

Don't have a flash on my iphone but this beast was fucking succulent beauty. I got dibs on the cheek and basically let it fuck the shit out of my mouth. The rest of this night was spent drinking and drinking and did I mention drinking?

So to be consistent, why not day drink a bunch of different Belgian beers at 1:30pm? I projectile vomitted at this event in a bathroom thank god. And luckily none of the pig or delicious fish boil came back up. For some reason, I felt compelled to buy a shower curtain after this at the neighboring Bed Bath and Beyond.

So after bitching and whining about getting drawn on at Dark Lord Day earlier this year while Steve fell asleep around drunk idiots, he did it again! Instead of painting his exposed skin this time, we all just took turns tea baggin his face. It was all fun and games until he got a raging boner.

I've been to Goose Island so many times this past week. Just finished this board and hope that I don't have to return for a long time. This should hold them over for a little.

This baby is starting to get more and more awesome.

So I was totally shocked and grateful to hear that there are more than five people that read this blog and for that, I am super fucking grateful. Seriously, thank y'all and hope that you don't make it on here because I'll probably make fun of you.



  1. bernie up in this piece. becoming a staple.

  2. I like how I'm subtly giving you the finger with my left hand...