Monday, August 1, 2011

Putting the G in Gout.

What it must be like to be able to sleep whenever you want and shit your pants at the same time. Its just weird if you do it as an adult...more than once.

You know its been a rough day at work if you end up getting a foot long Subway club to cap your evening. Some people like to get laid at the end of the night, I'd rather stick a bunch of fake shit in my mouth. I would later pay for this the next day as what was in the toilet looked like a snickers abortion.

To award myself with a craptastic week of work, the homie Coldgrums hooked it up with a comp ticket to see the Rockboxx tour. This eclectic mix had Daddy Kev, Nosaj Thing, De La Soul, with DJ Z Trip headlining. I don't get too excited about seeing live shows any more but Nosaj Thing was one act I really wanted to see live and NOT because he's a fellow yellow. He did not disappoint and also looked like a hipster alien on stage.

De La came correct per usual. This is my 15th time seeing them and the 15th time hearing them do the whole "my side is better than your side" shtick. Nonetheless, they killed it with a ton of classics and energetic stage presence.

Woke up the next day with painting on my mind and apparently candy as I sweated and burned my skin to finish this popsicle looking piece. Thanks for the inspiration MIME!

After a craptastic nap and equally craptastic run, I decided to ruin all of the calorie burning by heading to Josh's and Diana's housewarming party near Wicker Park. A three tap keg can only mean one thing...AWESOMENESS! Josh is the head of Powell Brewing, a homebrewer who is as ambitious about drinking, brewing, and sharing beer with the best of them. He had an IPA, porter, and wit on draft all freaking delicious and ready to pour. Did I mention that this is his fucking kitchen???

So I got to try a few beers being shared at the party and came across Freddy Kreuger's son holding what was one of the better beers I got to try this evening.

WHAT THE FUCK? Apparently beer nerds would jerk off to a picture like this. Hipsters' mustaches would instantly curl looking at this closet.

Speaking of things in closets, check out this fucking plateau of calf muscle courtesy of the Toochinator. That is dedication to one muscle. I bet you he still can't dunk a basketball though, but would fucking rule in kickball.

In true drunken fashion, I would eventually make a beer batter and deep fry pickles and anything else I can get my hands on. Those spears did the trick though, and that trick is burning the shit out of my mouth with hot oil.

This cat is basically one step away from deep frying. With fur gone, all we would need to do is gut it, batter it, and fry it.

Holy opossum looking cat aka Chinese fried rice! I can't even imagine how long this breed would last in Asia. The de-furring process takes forever and these bad boys come pre furred!

Yuppie love. May your VW jettas, Birkenstocks, and self entitlement never die.

Almost 24 hours later, I headed back over to Josh's to check out what brew day is all about and kind of document the process. I didn't learn anything. Just ended up oooohhh-ing and ahhhhh-ing over each step of the way and drinking.

Scooping beer poop.

Cooking beer diarrhea.

The lab.

Ended the evening at Tooch and Stephanie's place where pork tenderloins, risotto, apple chutney, and green beans were had. What made this experience even better was Madmen on Netflix on their LCD flat as an Asian girl's chest screen. Still not a huge fan of HD because it makes everything have a soap opera or home video look to it. Bleh, the red head's boobs were still amazingly large in HD though.

This was a great way to end a week and enjoy my day off. I just hope the weather lets up a bit, my balls have been sticking to my legs all fucking month. I may need to get some botox injected so those fuckers stay put.