Sunday, May 1, 2011

Slow Yo Roll.

Here's Kim taking full advantage of "wear your pj's to work day." She missed the memo stating that it was all a joke. If you've ever thought work was serious, the owls on her pajamas will tell a different story. Also note how similar the posture/gesture on the picture to her right. Weird.

I think this is supposed to be some kind of sign that spring is on its way? Or as Chicagoans know it - Summer, because we haven't had an actual Spring here since the 90's.

I always enjoy going to a ball game and watching nothing happening at all behind a group of patriotic shit head teens passing each other fake ID's. Proof once again that all white people do indeed look the same. This game was cancelled before it even started.

To celebrate the cancellation of a game on my one day off, I decided to get some Pho in Uptown to drown my sorrows away and almost shit my pants on the way home because of it. It was definitely worth it.

Went to go check out the "Beer Academy" over at Goose Island Clybourn to see what experimental beers were out there and as you can tell by this graphic, they should only stick to brewing beer.

Meh. Strawberry lager. I equate this to be a wine cooler without the sugar or the molester trying to feed it to pre teens.

Magic Hat's "Wacko." Or as I like to say, sucko.

Now we start to get a little better. Dunno why anyone would need or want to make a black IPA, but it was tasty none the less. Nice roasty notes despite it being an IPA.

Also the male cast of Sex and The City were there gabbing it up about how they all were Samanthas. They got shooshed at least five times.

Not a huge fan of the Saphir hop so this was a miss for me. Interesting but not good in my book.

This was pretty good. Brewed with blueberries and not all cheap like either. Real deep with the taste and smell. This was a "me rikey."

This one kind of beat my ass. Super petey smelling and strong as all hell. This beer would have an old Scottish man blushing.

I've had some epic barfs in my lifetime, but this is just impressive. I would like to see the Guinness book of world records on projectile vomit because DAMNNNNNNN! The spread, volume, color, and over all mass coverage of this spread is nothing but impressive. I wish I could take claim to this but, Jeff is winning on this one. Kudos.

You ever wanted to see what 40 lbs of veggies chopped up by hand look like? FUCK YOU!

Drinking at 10am on a Saturday at Reggies??? Must be Dark Lord Day! Reggies was gracious enough to provide free shuttles to Three Floyds on Saturday for the Annual beer asshole fest known as Dark Lord Day.

This guy waiting for the bus was so fucking excited to wear his Three Floyd's shirt. He's going to look sooooo cool in front of overweight dudes and people looking to ebay their bottles. Yes, I was jealous.

Nothing better than openly drinking on a schoolbus and feeling like youre going to piss your pants. It didn't help that I sat in the back and felt every single crack on the road punching my bladder.

So this year, you needed a ticket to sort of hang out on premise as opposed to last year where you only needed a ticket to buy a bottle. With that said, it was still a shit storm of people around both inside and outside the brewery.

Er, this isn't even half of the line because it wrapped almost a block and a half more for bottle purchase. Let the drinking continue.

That was only like half an hour plus about ten other beers I didnt have time to take a flick of. What time is it?? oh yeah 2:16 pm.

The guest tent had some realllll stellar pours from all over the US. Good friend Aaron had access to this tent despite lines and handed myself and company around 12 pours in less than 15 minutes. My favorite was the Three Floyds and Revolution collab, holy good lord it was good.

Things started to get weird.


First man down gets drawn on...and peed on from what I can see here.

I'm surprised advertisers aren't all over the seats yet.

If you've ever felt like you drink too much, fear not because you will never drink as much as this creepy boyscout who I'm sure still lives in his mom's basement counting his craft beers every day. Pants aren't an option anymore, he fucking stole one of his mom's skirt.

FUCKIN A! It just don't stop!

Correction...if you ever think you drink too much...this dude has you beat. Also if you think you eat too many hot dogs and hamburgers...

Line stays long.

I got my four. Do I remember this picture though? No.

I wasn't hung over despite the gallon plus of beer I consumed but I did have the appetite of a drunk the next day. Only a roasted duck done three ways would cure my craving. Sun Wah BBQ to the rescue.

Hey did you hear we got Osama? Yes we can! Every dickface updated their stupid facebook profile as if we all just won the lotto and won World War 3-7. Just lower the gas prices, and don't take so much out of our fucking paychecks and Ill jump for joy any day.

Homeboy here had it right...just roll a blunt for the ride home.

I know that Art Chicago and Next and all of that other shit was happening this weekend but I opted for something I could afford and not want to suck Shepard Fairey's dick like everyone else in this city was doing this weekend. I wanted some beer, sun, and food and I did exactly just that. I just wish it wasn't Monday already. Here we go again!

Thanks for comments people!


  1. I spent most of the day in the guest tap area with Aaron. By the time you arrived my memories are in flashes. Post Group C I consumed a lot of Zombie Dust. Party on liver.

  2. Thats right! Zombie Dust! That shit was baller, you kept forcing me to drink more.

  3. well said brah...and you didnt miss much at art chicago..

  4. at least intel has memories in flashes. i have zero memory by the time we left, which i'm told was the same time as intel's bus. dude is a machine i tell ya.

    LOVE SUN WAH. i don't make it up there enough. maybe twice a year with the chicago gluttons crew.