Monday, April 25, 2011

Seven Days a Week Isn't Enough

The nephew is starting to stand on his own and yelling a lot for no reason. He is turning one in one month. All hell is about to break out. I've seen him eat, make sure your finger is no where near his plate unless you want it cutely removed with his five teeth.

Good friend Tony Trimm had a good idea to score a semi free painting from me. By turning the process into a production where he'll eventually edit the live art aspect and create a sound montage behind me jerking off onto the canvas.

Tony and Roy get ready to shower together before the shoot. It's true what they say about black people, they really do have the yellow fever. Wu Tang anyone?

All set up and no where to go.

Three hours, a half bottle of bourbon, a bucket of chicken wings, and a piece pizza later, we get er done. Ill post the finished production. Now that I look at this from a far, it looks like two snails fucking out of their shell.

Back to the grind with giant mishapen chalk fruit. This whopping board is right in between the men and women restrooms. It is key to have headphones on when doing this epic board as to not hear dumb comments from day drinkers on their way to pissing or shitting or coking.

Got a new toy.

Speaking of tasty bourbons, I got to try out some recipes utilizing the only brown liquid I'll drink without shame.

Bourbon marinated pork chop, bourbon butter reduction, roasted sweet potato puree with bourbon molasses.

Crispy chicken thigh, bourbon arugula chimichurri, roasted lemon brussel sprouts with crispy garlic.

N0t to be outdone with Bourbon, Tony introduced and schooled Droooo and I on some fine scotch drinking. Disregard the frat boy sized bottle of Stoli Vodka. All I remember is how "petey" and tasty everything was. It was deceptively smooth like any fine liquor or beer. Scary how alcohol kinda fucks yah over with its smoothness. I equate it to girls hooking up with scumbags that got fooled with smooth talk, lies, and rufies.

Feeling a little "petey," we decided to head over to the much talked about Longman and Eagle...finally for me.

You'll never guess...they're stupid busy inside. Tiny open kitchen with an open dining room. It was packed so we opted to dine and drink outside. This will prove to be a good idea as we ended up getting pretty loud and drinky.

It was perfect outside as there were ample seating and only a few diners eating outside. We would soon ruin this and crowd this shit up.

So the restroom has two lockable doors - one for pissing and one for pooing or as I like to call them - doing drugs behind closed doors that lock room.

Grilled duck liver with quail egg. I forget the rest of the components of this dish because it was quite complicated. I felt bad for the food runner because she would always run out of breath after explaining what was on the dish.

Venison pate and pig face. Both were tasty but very skimpy on the other elements that came with the dish, seemed more like a garnish than elements that were supposed to work with the main part of the dish. I forgot to take a picture of the buffalo frog legs I had in the beginning which were quite tasty as well. NOT a fan of the aerated blue cheese though. I did like this gastropub and I don't mean to be hypercritical but earning a Michelin Star, youre going to want to get a little critical. I'm not going to say whether or not they deserved it, Ill just leave it at it was a very good experience worth visiting again.

Finally a little bit of muddled sun on a Sunday. Visited longtime homie Hernando out in mahfuckin Streamwood son! As you can see, it was vegetarian friendly. Nothing like breaking in a new grill and tainting it with meat juices to get er goin.

Here's the main reason i visited. Andres Orozco seeing an Asian for the first time ever. He's thrilled.

Sweet moment of the day, forcing the babies to play together so either family wouldn't look racist.

Good times seeing old friends and trying out new places is what makes Chicago fun again. Dark Lord Day is coming up this Saturday...Ill try my best to remember to take photos. Blackouts will ensue.

Thanks for reading.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Working For the Man.

Went to Indian Grill house over in Lincoln Park for a co worker's "congrats on quitting your job and finding something happier and better" dinner. And as you can see Maureen is enthralled by the company surrounding her. Ha, we'll miss her at the hole.

Haven't had Indian food in a while so I went for the vegetarian sampler. It was quite good despite most of the flavors being similar. Side note, make sure you do not walk home after an Indian dinner. My butt cheeks are seriously like iron after having had to clench them till a toilet was present. I literally had my pants around my ankles when I walked in my door. It was still worth it.

Woke up the next morning and painted the nightmare I had almost crapping my pants.

Fast forward three days after double shifts between two jobs, cooking by myself without assistants, answering stupid customer questions, and no break in the near future. I ended up walking past one of the last functioning industrial factories in the North side. I kind of wanted to throw myself in that furnace.

A. Finkl in action is quite the site to see only because you have no idea what the fuck they're doing. Just a bunch of random equipment doing stuff to other stuff.

Finally made it after getting drenched and proceeded to start the drinking.

Started diggin around my friends collection and found some aged gems.

Here is my recent acquisition from his collection. I'll be ready for my beer goggles come any kind of natural disaster.

Only thing I did at work worth documenting.

That is an actual swordfish on display amidst all of its chopped up family and peers. Displays like this make me want to become a vegetarian sometimes.

Stopped by Chicago Burger Bar right by work to grab a burger and revel in how awesome their chalkboards look. I think they hired a retarded fat kid with two left hands to do their board.

More crap.

Thank god the food was good. Looking at the chalkwork built up quite the hater's appetite. I had the elk burger topped with a chili aioli and andouille sausage. Notice the side salad in my attempt to be semi healthy during this meal, but totally negated with the ranch dressing. Go America.

Went into work after dinner on my day off to paint what will become our new break room.

Gotta get that Lincoln Park stamp son!

This week was a shit show of a week. I worked a ton and barely had room to breathe. I missed out on a lot of fun things because I was just too tired and beat to go out. This upcoming week should be different and my groove and liver should be restored sooner than later. Until then, thanks for reading!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Bad Habits Are Hard to Break

Started the week having to redo a chalkboard Goose Island was not too keen on. To my defense, I was just being a lazy bastard. I didn't take a picture of the shitty board...because it was shitty. This is the revised version complete with an enormous goose head because drawing a goose inside Goose Island has never been done before.

Feeling a little cheeky after doing the above board and having eaten straight vegetarian for about two weeks, you can only imagine my lust for some salty meat. Sang gave me a ring and suggested his new favorite BBQ spot - Uncle John's in the South Side. First awesome sign of any good BBQ spot is good dry wood. Seeing this made my scrotum tingle with anticipation.

Second good sign - anatomically correct illustration of chicken parts on an unassuming store front sign. You would never know what kind of BBQ magic happens in here if you were just walking or driving by. Fuck your Leon's and Smoque BBQ up North. This is the real deal.

Third good sign. Fat white people from the North Side like Jack here are willing to travel to the South Side where Whities are considered to be narcs or social workers. Not pictured are two Koreans and DJ Rude One, the locals looked at us like we were straight aliens. They were even more startled when the yellows spoke proper English.

Uncle John's isn't really a sit down and eat kinda joint being that it has bullet proof glass everywhere so we opted to eat in Sang's car. I couldn't get a good picture of the tips and link combo, but FUCKING SHIT ASS FUCK TITTIES, they were good. All four of us basically fogged up the windows and looked like we had a BBQ orgy with sauce flying, groaning, sweating and basically just short of jerking each other off in the car once we started eating. Shit is real son. I'm not going to hyper link the joint...just fucking google it you lazy bastard.

Coming off of the meat coma that would soon follow the meal from the previous night, and the inevitable brick of dung I shat out from re introducing meat into my diet, why not check out a new taco joint?

The interior was laid out and painted by the homie CZR PRZ. It's called Carbon and is the second incarnation with the first located in the South Side. Food was aight...although for the portion and other options, I can't say that I'd go back.

Don't let the massively bright storefront fool you, its tiny but definitely has plenty to look at. It's like a bucket of graffiti and street art just spilled all up in this shit. Also with the small size of this place, the fat employees really need to step their game up and jog or some shit. I felt claustrophobic in there when I was eating my veggie taco that cost them .20 to make but cost me $2.50.

Back to the grind at Goose for an upcoming beer. Thank God I added the blue behind the letters because I could not stop thinking about sperm dripping on the black back ground. And I kept thinking that all of this sperm was dripping into the glass and creating this cess pool of overflowing spunk out of this beer mug. With all of this said, the beer is actually really good.

Not to be outdone by the cup of sperm, Sam and I at work worked on one of the best chalkboards that no one will ever see because of its location. I won't tell you where it is rather if you find it, let me know how to get back up there. Better yet, take a flick of this and Ill send you a prize. Seriously. Sam you can't enter this contest.

Straight rain forest son!

After a long day of signs, and cooking for an awesome 30th bday dinner, stopped by Simone's where I always feel like a hipster Tron. If you haven't been here, the decor is really cool and is the same guy who did the Boiler Room.

DJ booth overlooking Mexicans, Hipsters, Yuppies, and Mexican hipster yuppies.

Ran into co-worker/friend Chris fist pumping to a Bieber song.

And yes, I was stupid hungover the next day for work. Managing a blog lets you know how people find out about your blog and has all of these neat functions that let you know what words are being typed to find your you can see, I'm mostly linked with porn words and sites. My favorite is the "porn videos son fucking hard fucking oh shit holy fuck faster..." SOMEONE ACTUALLY TYPED ALL OF THIS and my blog came up...Awesome!

It was DJ day at work where 8 DJs would play for an hour each and we would just drink and shoot the shit at a grocery store bar. The nephew decided to come out in style and really get his New Jack City on. The event was a success and had people drinking during the day and had Johnny Fonseca playing T.I. where organic minneola tangelo's are sold.

During my hour, it became Babies R' Us dance hour. I was really tempted to start playing some 2 Live Crew.

Woke up the next day and caught this by some dude that paints.

So whats the difference between the North and South Side? Ill give you a hint..."white people drive like this, black people, they drive like this..."

Speaking of black people, got to see the homies RK design throwing down on a production wall. I've known these guys for a really long time and they have only gotten better and blacker as evidenced by the Wendy Williams character here. "MMMMMMHMMM!"

Max wears a clean white tee every single time he paints and I kid you not, it stays white after a full day of painting. It also makes him look like every body else in this neighborhood so he doesn't get killed.

After shooting the shit, it was time to hit the Maxwell St. Market to look at the most random shit for sale and Mexican food.

What the hell are you selling here?

Oh yes.

This looks like a used tampax, but this quesadilla with barbacoa steak was pretty slamming and filling all for $4.5o. Solid mix of oil, cheese, sour cream, with a touch of tortilla to really make this probably the unhealthiest thing ever. It was fucking good though.

Continued walking around looking at the most random shit for sale until my childhood and inner fat kid resurfaced seeing this...

Untitled from Won kim on Vimeo.

I am a sucker for an elote. This is what summer means to me, a mish mash of calories, sweat, and food boners.

A fucking parachute for sale.

Just blocks and blocks of DVD's, socks, belts, gloves, army gear, knives, tools, bootleg toys, candy, food, remote controls, blankets, cars, books, shoes, kids for sales, dogs, and weird looking Asians, I had enough and the massive poop that was poking out indicated my need to exit the premises.

Not to be outdone by my flea market excursion, it was time for more of a sullen moment to send off the homie Pedi at the California Clipper as he embarks the shit on chest porn land of Germany.

I love this place. I just wish it was closer to my house. It has a classic spacious interior, solid cocktails and a vibe that is hard to find around the city. We will miss Pedi and his Jesus hair, but what I will miss most of all is the meatloaf cupcake I had here made by Courtney. That shit was bonkers son.

Here I come Dark Lord Day. Thanks Tooch!

It was a long week with ending with an amazing 80 degree day in Chicago. I got to see a glimpse of what is to come as the weather will only get nicer and nicer. A ton of traffic and shit head drivers. Check out Art Burst Chicago...they asked me questions and stuff and I like answered them. Awesome site with a bunch of art coverage around the city and beyond. I hope you enjoyed!