Monday, March 28, 2011

Sentimental Bonfires and Time Traveling.

I love seeing things last, because its like a walk down miserable memory lane. I remember doing these at my job downtown about five years ago and instead of cutting myself and my desk out of misery, I would make these dumb stickers instead.

This is what happens when chalkboards need to be updated but no upcoming beers are on deck. Just remind people that Goose Island is made in Chicago for now, well at least at the moment I did this a week, yeah.

After a most ridiculous attempt at jogging outdoors in the cold, I decided a tasty bloody mary was in order. I've heard amazing things about the delicious libation over at the Twisted Spoke. You'll never guess what kind of bar its supposed to be.

Holy crap! There's mothafuckin shredded parm on this bitch! It's like a cluster fuck of sodium and I didn't complain one single bit.

They also boast a very impressive draft and bottle beer list. They had the KBS tapped here along with some other heavy hitters. Set the Delorian to "oh shit."

They have a Manhattan for $125. Anyone drinking that hopefully got a handie under the bar or a fucking punch to the face.

Friend from out of town number one: Adam Leaders, fresh in from Costa Rica with no visible tan. That expression on his face says it all - "you're gonna shit your pants."

Jake and Karen were there to represent as we continued to drink...I didn't take a picture of the shot or the dirty martini I had...hope you're keeping count! Don't forget the bloody mary.

Founder's Double Trouble...almost 10% abv on an IPA! WHAT THE HELL? Had two of these not because I'm not a douche hole, but because its a damn tasty beer.

SOOOOOOOOOOOO, I didn't take any of the pictures of us going to check out Intel spin over at Butterfly Social at 8pm on a Thursday. I think there was a shot involved, pizza, and a few beers there and then Jake remembered that he had to spin over at Bonny's, right next to the Whistler which is where this picture was taken. Tony Trimm had a beat set that I was late to, so he punished me with Korean guilt and a shot of Jameson. We also replaced a flat tire, started a fight with a gangbanger and somehow made it home in one piece. It reminded me of a "partying" montage from a sitcom or movie. I will pay for this.

The next morning and all through my work shift would prove to be one of the hardest days I would dredge through. It was absolutely terrible. My hangover would fade away 8 hours later after multiple bottles of water, coconut water, pizza, potato chips, salad, Indian food, and a 30 minute nap. We had an employee bball tournament. It smelled like my sweaty taint in this gym.

When you work at a store with almost 500 employees, you're going to end up with a lot of orange cones playing the court. This was absolutely the worst bball tournament I've ever seen. Falling, hacking, fouling, missing, falling, falling, and did I mention falling? I've never seen so many balls flying and missing the hole in all of my life and I look at a lot of terrible porn. To our credit, we beat the South Loop store that had a dude with a bulls logo shaved into his head...yeah.

Time travel to Rodan where friend from out of town number two is: Jose G. from LA. The usual happened, weird Euro's dancin with a weirder lookin Asian and this - What is the obsession with white girls and dancing with their arms up? What can be worse? Bunny ears to the shadow of your dancing partner. Boo to your melted crayon dress. I would leave soon after so I can catch the bus to go back home. One thing about living where I do, I always have an excuse to leave early from anywhere to get home via public transportation. My midnight snack ended up being two bananas, two oranges, and a bag of chips. VIVA!!!!

The next day was our annual employee art show where Sam and I along with the marketing team would display and sell art work that our illustrious employees have created for "charity." I don't even want to relive this nightmare of egos and weird situations with fellow co - workers and what they thought this art show for CHARITY at a GROCERY STORE was supposed to be for them. Instead, here is the live art piece that Blutt did.

Here's CZR PRZ being productive after having three Allagash XXX beer. I won't judge but he told me the inspiration for this piece was his waterfall back hair leading to his ass.

I apparently was thinking about a phallic cavity seeking yellow stick. Organizing, answering questions, dealing with co - workers, keeping up with bids, and helping out with the music act on stage, I was a little distracted to say the least. In the midst of all this, I didn't get to document one of the nicest people and musical talent that is Hashbrown.

After stressfully leaving work, it was time to surprise Jose G. and his wife Kim to a surprise wedding party with his Chicago buds outdoors. Sang has a pretty awesome friend that donated her outdoor bonfire space for the occasion. This is the humble start.

FUCK YEAH! We burned everything and anything we could. You could tell who was what ethnicity because once fire was introduced, everyone smelled like tortillas, fried rice, and hotdogs.

Here is Intel giving an impromptu wedding toast. It was a great night of watching shit burn and just hangin.

BURN MOTHAFUCKA BURN!!! I fucking love fire and burning shit. As I was watching things burn however, I figured that being burned alive would absolutely be the worse way to die. I can see why the Kreug (Freddie Kreuger and I are boys) was so angry.

Flashback of some art I've done. Yay.

I was a little light on photos this entry and I do apologize for that. It's been an absolutely hellish week at work with really no time to think and going from one thing to another. As we get closer and closer to warm weather though, you know shit will start popping off. So bear with me until then! See you next week.


  1. 1. Tomatoes or not, parmesan cheese on a Bloody Mary sounds WRONG--it's a *drink*!
    2. Haha, that's crazy--I just learned about that Double Trouble today.
    3. Man...I was certain that $125 was a misprint for $12.5. That Manhattan belongs in the Guiness Book of World Records and Ripley's "Believe Or Not" Museum
    4. Thanks for Sunday and for the support.
    5. Quenchers has a rep for the largest beer selection in Chicago. Do you know--how does the length of Twisted Spoke's list compare to theirs? (I'm weird--the only beers that I like are an Oatmeal Stout and sweeter ales, e.g., most Leinenkugel flavors.)

  2. I went to a bloody mary bar on Saturday that didn't have any cheese at all. I was upset. Parm or feta stuffed olives = the truth.

  3. Does Twisted Spoke still have polenta fries?