Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Holy Fuck, I'm Full as Shit!



So my last i phone got busted and I had to buy a new 3GS. But before I have a big FUCK YOU to the last phone, I had to somehow extract recent photos I took with the old piece of shit. Yes its fucking ghetto but I was running out of ideas.



So the first two photos were from the monthly Beer Advocate party over at Goose Island Clybourn. It is as nerdy as it sounds with the usual freeloaders that don't contribute shit or know shit about beer but make you feel weird as if you're somehow interrupting their party. Really hit or miss beers from all over the place. Yes, I did get drunk...



I've had this beauty before but there is nothing wrong with revisiting this communist looking beer. It poured like diesel fuel but tasted like sweet virginal angel vagina...er, I mean it was good.



This was my contribution to the party. It was a dark double ale from Portland courtesy of Mr. Dj Intel. It was quite delicious but in efforts to chill it first in one of seven tubs of beer, some pimply role playing dirtbag opened it up immediately so I had to cop it before it was gone. Fucking rookie.



Did I mention that I do chalkboards at Goose Island Clybourn? I did? A bunch of times? Well here's another reminder. Seriously though, Caber Toss? What an obscure thing to name a beer. Suck it. I couldn't get a picture of the big one I did called "Naughty Goose," go in and send me a decent picture and Ill buy you a flight...seriously.



There were tons of beer. I ended up drinking more and more obscure beer at which point I came home and ate what I hope was food...I think I shit out a piece of my electric bill in the morning.



Met up with some friends the next day to go to Publican and finally order the seafood tower. This monstrosity came in at a whopping $120.00, but between four people, it wasn't too bad. It's like the ocean threw up a bunch of deliciousness onto three tiers of ice and told us to fack off.



We also ordered the fresh in house pork rinds which provided a good starter film of pork fat in my mouth.



Nephew update: The little bugger is trying to walk...the face says it all - "I'm about to tear shit up."



Went shopping at Whole Foods Market for a job I was cooking at...for those who keep making that overused joke about "Whole Paycheck," look at this fucking car. If he or she can shop there with no shame or regard for proper parking, then ANYONE can shop there. This fucker must have robbed a bank, but had a reallllll bad hankering for some organic skin moisturizer judging by the way this dickwad parked.



So I finally get to take a crap at a house that has a land line. I've waited all my life for this and had no one to call cause I always text. What a waste of a poop.



It was an awesome party at an amazing house in the Northside of the city. Something about real fire always makes my penis wet. Note to self: Get that checked out.



I made about 6 or 7 things total but only took photos of two things cause I was working and its hard to take to just stop and taking photos of dishes when they need to go out...here is a black bean burger slider with a fresh cabbage slaw, and avocado cream.



Jumbo Lump crab cakes with a roasted red pepper coulis.



You can never be too far without good beer. Here are two that I sampled that night along with some High Noon Rye...HOLY CRAP that rye whiskey was the bomb dot com.



So cooks get dumb and do dumb things like slap each others arms...I have nothing else to say about this.



We were all working our way towards the big 4 liter of the Heavier Handed IPA...



Fast forward 10 minutes later and its all gone...wheres that rye again?



Welcome Monday! Ended up at the Kimball Brown Line stop to try this little interracial confusion. I know Del Seoul is out there but this place has been under the radar longer and came out first with combining Latin/Asian taco crap.



Thank god for the Hello Kitty...I was starting to feel less and less AZN.



Boy, that Korean looks weird.



Ordered the bulgogi taco and pork kimchi taco...MEH. I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars. Don't get me wrong, it was tasty and all but if your claim to fame is having authentic fusions, it better be more on point than this. I as a Korean will be picky on this. Plus how authentic can it be if it didn't give me instant shits or gas? And that goes for both Latin and Asian!



So the same night, a group of us went to Hopleaf and enjoyed an adult beverage. This little fucker was the Worldwide Stout that was 18% ABV. It was tasty...a little too easy going down...hard coming back up.



I can never come here and not get the mussels. This place gives me the crackhead shakes for this glorious pot of mussels and that amazing broth it sits in. Question of the day: Do mussels pee?



Needless to say, a few hours and pints over at Hopleaf always equate to rough rough mornings. I'm glad to work at a grocery store some days. We have young coconuts on sale to cure that hangover. I just wish there was a beach, sun, and sand to match where this coconut came from...Pilsen.



I do tons of chalkboards at Whole Foods and Goose Island and every once in a while, Ill try to take my time and do a decent job...This isn't great but, I liked it for what its worth...I think I want frosting or sperm.



I have a few great friends, Karen G being one of them. I finally redeemed my bday dinner coupon from November and got treated to some Avec.



This antipasto salad had pickled chantrelle mushrooms...WTF? What a great punch to the old pallet.



The bacon wrapped dates stuffed with chorizo was killer! A lot of places have this similar item but holy fuck. I was told that the chorizo was made in house...PAUL KAHANNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!



This proscuitto salad had it going on. It had fresh mozz, a pesto sauce and hand cranked shaved swine.



Look at that glorious red machine. Its only purpose was to shave proscuitto.



Ended the night with this corn cake thing with fresh citrus, and a whipped chantilly topping. Hoooooly crap. It was an amazing Bday dinner. My poop is gonna look and smell awesome tomorrow.

This post has a lot of drinks and food in it and whats scary is that I didn't take a lot of pics of the other cool salty things I get to put in my mouth...that sounds weird. Either way, I'm seriously going to start posting more. If you like these posts, let me know so I can continue to hopefully help you kill ten minutes of your day! COMMENT YO!

Thanks. see you soon.

2 comments:

  1. way to improvise in the first half (photos of photos). come to quencher's saturday night. i'll be there. stout fest.

    ReplyDelete
  2. how many blogs you got now asshole?

    or do you just write 4 posts, forget the password, and start over?

    anyway good shit, always hilarious.

    ReplyDelete